Seasonal affective disorder… an interesting pathology related to the lack of sun and vitamin d in ones diet often brought about by the darker times of the year. Picked up by the mainstream media and now tossed into the mix with the holidays, it is another pathetic attempt to justify how much we are trapped by the perceptions of others. Add to this the insanity of being politically correct. “Marry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” or “Quansa” or whatever and a host of shoulds surround a time of year that is one of the best.
The art of the should is all about fixating the assemblage point. In fact it is the ultimate art. It starts at a young age and grows into a terrible passion as we progress through life. The should is the teacher’s and parent’s tool to get the child to act the same as them. Often with no justifiable reason, shoulds are layered one on top of the other with no real reason or energetic meaning except that is the way things are.
Looking at the biggest should, lets take love. Love is more often a should. We are supposed to love; it is a loaded term. It has more sub-shoulds than any other concept out there. As warriors of freedom, we can unravel this concept. We recapitulate our shoulds with love and find out that most of them are expectations. Expectations of appropriate behaviors and demands of others to be exactly like ourselves, the should of survival. Expectations to be in relationship; the should of procreating the species. Expectations of forgiveness; the should of keeping the peace with false love. Expectations of feeling good; the should of getting love by giving love (can anything be more self important?). Expectations of appropriate behaviors; the should of social control through love.
For the Toltec, love is a dangerous term. It is too loaded to actually be affective in our speach any more. At one time in our historical past, the word was not all-inclusive as it has become today. There were terms for fraternal connection, for duty to the country, for sex and passion, for connection between mates… each of these individual words carefully described the differences. Most are not aware that even the bible originally had agape, eros and other terms that have been manipulated into one term, “love”…. This manipulation is the manipulation of the predator that wants the singularity of our assemblage points to be focused on pursuit of the unattainable so we feel fear and loss… and then we are open to the shoulds, its shoulds. What a tasty morsel we become when we are flattened down to such simplistic sugars and addictions for the predator.
How many times have we heard what we should feel, be, do or say in any situation. This is the shoulds. It is an attempt to fixate our assemblage point on always feeling good (the result is we always feel bad cause we are never living up to the mark)…. And Love is the greatest of shoulds out there floating in our assemblage field.
We are so much more dynamic, so much more interesting as perceptual filters of awareness than this. When we recapitulate love and stop trying to pursue it because we should, something occurs, something subtle and beautiful. We start to see things as they really are. We relate to them as they are, not as they should be. We begin to realize how randomly the universe is constantly generating awareness and form in all its myriad of wonder and mystery. We begin to realize there is no reason at all. The shoulds fall away and the “as is” takes the place. We are no longer manipulated by the shoulds and are energized by the dance of what is. We are no longer pursuing the unattainable loves and become in relationship with things as they are.
For a warrior of freedom, its been said before, love is a concept. Love for the warrior of freedom is for no reason at all. And this is the most subtle of all, like filaments of energy and lines of intent. One cannot manipulate, should or create love for no reason at all…. It just is. And any talk, concept or perception of it is a manipulation of the shoulds and the realm of the predator. This is why many of us reject the word, and chose the action, reject the conversation and chose freedom. This trap of the shoulds is too big for the Toltec.
So be whatever we are, a bundle of perceptions… but realize that most of them are the shoulds and recapitulation of these shoulds and where they come from is the first step to real freedom, and real love for no reason at all.