When I first read your books, your sacred texts of belief, I had no response. In fact it confused me as to why you wanted me to read them in the first place. But then again, we are in some way entangled energetically and my love for you and our life experiences together as humans are rooted in the entanglement that we shared. What I see in these writings now is a lack of connection over a number of years. And a lot of context is missing from our connection. The words that you share in your textbooks are beautiful, they are human experience and they are the path that you are on. I see your struggle with the shadow, an essential part of being human.
I want to share my journey with you because we have shared so much, but fear the words would be taken as a rejection of you. You may think that what I say is a secret or hidden truth. This is not a rejection of you or your path. Far be it for me to tell anyone that the agreements that they have made with the universe are wrong. They are not wrong…. But I risk to share, for my journey has been in and through this universe traveling the bands of awareness. I am first and foremost an artist, a seer of life, a sorcerer. A toltec warrior who has dared to leave the village, the center of the town, the agreements which were inherited and pushed upon me with a voracity of the foreign mind and installed for me to acquiesse to the dominant paradigm. This was and is not enough for me… because it is fraught with not-enoughness, the best definition of evil. I see in your words as a push to know the old paradigm at its best, yes at its best it is a brilliant possibility of humans connected in a network of light and joy sharing in the ecstasy of the singularity, we are all one. That cannot be denied as a beautiful vision. A vision for humanity which vibrates with the collective drive and essence for the light.
Despite this or maybe because of this, turning over all the rocks and searching, I have come to know that obsessions with the light are distractions from the way the universe actually is. The universe is made of pure energy, intent as we call it. Intent moves like waves on the ocean and the fish beneath these waves know nothing of its purpose or its drive. They only know the drive to consume their daily bread and create stories which support the drive to maintain what it means to be a fish. As a seer and a wanderer into the abstract worlds other than the human intent, the water which supports that drive, I have seen a universe that is greater than the limits which we place upon it with our stories…. and remember this does not mean that those stories are wrong.
The universe is energy. 70 percent of the universe at large is dark energy. 27 percent of the universe is dark matter and a mere 3 percent of the universe is made up of everything we can consider the light, the physical, the matrix which creates life. When I hear someone say that the light drives everything and we need to keep to the light, I know that it is a drive to maintain and sustain the 3 percent that makes the light shine. But it is the dark energy and dark matter which actually creates the light for without it there would be no universe. The singularity, the god to which you assign all light and all being, exists everywhere and in every particle of every sector of the universe itself. The singularity is a not a bright light but an unknown, a potential, a spinning in infinite existence which only becomes something by our choices and by our acting upon it… then it collapses into something… the 3 percent … that something becomes the stories and inherited positions of our preconceived notions as to what it is. It becomes a self-full filling, self regulating prophesy. And woe to those who step outside of that story, Inquisition!
As I said, what you have written in your sacred texts are not wrong, it is for me limited and limiting our freedom to truly know freedom and awareness for what it is. We are afraid to leave the village, humans are afraid to look into the darkness and know the source of life emerged from it, from the chaos of the singularity which makes no choices. Humans are afraid to look into the infinite mystery and be that mystery. We would rather retreat to the light, or to the shadow which the light creates, by the very choices that we make.
I know this is hard. But it is my experience and my journey. As part of my journey, I learned about this light, this singularity which everyone was so ecstatic about. I spent years working with in the system of this light and saw the shadowed by products and affects of such beliefs which were impossible to deny. You do not need to defend it, nor understand. It was stepping out of that story and searching for its roots along avenues of awareness that I found the truth. The story of Christianity, most stories of a savior, is the story of a lie… at least it is for me. Joshua ben Joseph was an amazing seer, he brought to the world a vision of responsibility for the world which was greater than humans could handle. The human world did not listen. Not one word of what he said has survived to the present. This claim goes against everything you believe. But it is true. The words are a manipulation of the intent which Joshua planted as a seer in his times. It is a manipulation of his purpose and a denigration of the truth. The drive towards the singularity is a set up by the takers (see Ishmael by Daniel Quinn) to use that message to their own purpose, destruction of the earth and all there is.
The salvationist paradigm and the shadow side of human beings which we call the foreign mind, created an agreement with life (in reality death) that convinced humans they were less than and never greater than the fate which we inherit from birth. I reject all agreements which I was not actively a part of choosing. The agreement to buy into the salvationist paradigm holds the promise of a light which is none other than maintenance of the system of the shadow itself. The shadow needs this light to distract humans from seeing what is really happening. Again, do not take this as a personal rejection of your beliefs, rather I am rejecting the agreement which is made without my consent. To really be creative, to be part of the creator is to reject a paradigm that has led us to the near destruction of humans as a position of being in and of itself. And that is the agenda of the salvationist vision a corruption, a co-option of Joshua’s real message, lost now to the shadow side of history.
The first step is to overwhelm us with unworthiness in the face of our own deaths. The warrior removes the responsibility of his death from the hands of others or a story and is fully responsible for his death. This very act is anathema to the salvationist. The light bearers are trying to convince us that their definition of the light is right and everything else is wrong. This act of setting up good against evil is the dance of death, it is obsession with death itself… not what the warrior does, making death an advisor, knowing that any act and any time could be the last. It is the warrior’s stand, not to stand with the idea that he is unworthy. Once the unworthiness is fixed in the matrix humanitaris, then it is easy to be manipulated into thinking that the one, the singularity, the god is far away. This then requires constant maintenance by the system and a story of an intermediary, the son or any savior god, to be the go between. Yes, the god can and does reveal itself in everyone and at all times… you know when and where? Of course you do, right here and right now. We are the god creating the story, we are the god of believing in this crap that needs to be fixed. We are the separation because we are afraid to die. And thus we must be saved, god saving itself from the overwhelming responsibility for its own awareness… the salvationist paradigm demands that you can’t do it alone. And so the foreign mind requires that we be saved from ourselves, from the shadow, from the very choices we are abrogating our responsibility that we make. Ultimately the final step is a great battle between the forces of the shadow and the light, but this battle is a farce. There is not going to be anything saved and the universe will continue its magical ability to create awareness in new and interesting forms in another place. What would be lost? The awareness that we created the story in the first place as demanded by the foreign mind… what would be and could be completely lost is the earth… a magnificent awareness whose pulse and energy hosts this little drama called the human band of awareness. You see the only thing lost on the battlefield of ar-maggedo is human awareness which will be ultimately consumed by the foreign mind as food and it will move on to other tasty morsels.
As a seer, I reject this obsession with the singularity being the be all and end all of all things. It is a dance between the singularity and the multiplicity that is at the heart of creation itself. And it is not light versus dark, it is not good versus evil, it is not a goal to be striven for so that we can be right or feel good about our sham choices. It is a drive to know and be aware and awareness is greater than the stories which set us up for ultimate failure on that battle ground. The only way to win is not to play.
I know because I see it, that your hearts are in the right place. You want walk a path of heart to reject the cruelty of the world. I know because of our connection that you have not walked nor investigated the massive iceberg which I am pointing only to the top of… I know that this is not what you wanted to hear from me. A rejection of the Christian paradigm and in fact all religious paradigms is not a comfortable thing to you. Remember it is not a rejection of you as a being of awareness… it is a rejection of the stories which the foreign mind, the predator as we also call it, wants you to believe.
You were never ever broken, you were never ever unworthy, you were never ever sick. The sickness you feel is a result of asking and traveling beyond the boundaries of human perception and attempting to reintegrate with it. We call this folly. As warriors we learn how to renegotiate the folly and take control of our choices. The darkness, the deep rift of dark matter is absolutely necessary for the light to even be in existence. This brings us joy because we can reject the age-old stories and laugh at the folly and distraction that the light and its partner shadow have been dancing in the corners of the universe. The universe is greater than our concept of it.
We, warriors of awareness, are dancing awake a new dream. Not a dream of light and sustenance, but the dream of intent, of knowledge, awareness, power, clarity and most of all responsibility for the actions we have done which created this mess. Humans and their stories are killing themselves. We are daring to see a possibility of a band of awareness where this no longer exists… where we are free to see these repeat patterns as just that. We are daring to vision now, in the now, and to plant that vision deep in a manner that it will not be consumed by the predator’s mind as Joshua’s vision was. We are not daring to be saved nor to save. We are daring to become the creators we always were and have been since the beginning. We are daring to be alive, truly alive, truly creating every moment of our lives.
I laugh at the paradigms, but I cry for the distractions. You are more powerful than the stories you maintain. And this secret is the philosopher’s stone, it is the alchemy of spirit that brings together the light and the dark, the dissolution and the coagulation and sets us up as what we really are, artists of life and awareness. We better take responsibility for it all or we will become consumed by the very thing we have created… a story.
There is more! You are your own light… and you are your own shadow… the dark and the light are there for you to play in, dance in, and become more than you ever thought possible, even beyond the limitations of life itself.
This may not be what you wanted to hear. What you have written in your sacred texts may not be what I wanted to hear or maybe what you meant to say. I may reject the salvationist paradigm, only because, its time to write a new story. We are the story, it is not in the past. It is not a repetition of a repetition to keep us plugged into the matrix. It is freedom. And I take responsibility for my words, I cannot be responsible for how they are received, I have spent years modulating to that lower energy state where I cared how it was received. I can only stand by my truth and the truth of the knowledge which I have.
The conversation could unfold… this may not be the creation together that you were conceiving of… but it is the art, the art of awareness, that warriors of awareness hold and must share.
Just let me leave you with this… intent, Intent, INTENT…. It is only intent that binds me to you. The rest is story. Recapitulate everything, even me!