A Toltec Artist Awe at Life

There is a compelling need at this moment in time to clarify and share with all my friends what it means to be a Toltec…. Walk it in your own way…. This is all I ask, that everyone become themselves in the face of the greatest and grandest mystery of all, life.  

This is a truly magical life.  The magic comes in the form of constant energy pulsing through every part of creation.  The magic can be seen and witnessed everywhere.  The magic is the magic which I chose to call the “nagual.”  “Nagi” means spirit, “nagual” means spirit animal or double… We as humans can have two constantly different experiences of any moment.  Those two experiences are in flux like water moving through the stream and around the boulders as it flows.  The other side of the magic for me is the music of the physical sphere which hums and vibrates with the radiance of this beautiful world in which we live.  The dance is always between these two and to flow in and out of every moment in awe and wonder at life itself. 

For those that question the term “Toltec,” it is rooted in a love affair with ancient cultures throughout the world but most specifically in Mexico.  These ancients did not have it better than us.  They were aware like us and held knowledge and awareness in much the same way we do today.  The word “Totecatl” is a “Nahuatl” word for ancient builder or artisan.  So like the name “table mesa” really meaning “table table” crossing cultures and uniting into something more rich, “Toltec artist” = “artist artist.”  It is a dance between the mysterious other and the grounded self. 

Early in life, wandering through the many forests across this country infused this being with a love of the earth, a shocking intimacy with the root of creation.  Meanwhile being constantly drawn into the foreign installation of church and school, questions constantly plagued the evolution of fragile consciousness developing.  These two things stood in stark contradistinction to each other.  This interplay grew awareness and consciousness through struggle and conviction.  We learn and grow and eventually fall prey to the necessities dictated by the majority.  A some point we get to choose.  And freedom is the best choice ever.

This majority may limit but it can never, even in its darkest hour, destroy the spirit that is aligned with mystery and awe.  Infinite mystery was/is the best and only way that could define this precious state of being.  Thus every moment of growing in breadth and depth is in relation to that unifying knowledge.  That knowledge is silence sitting on the edge of the vast abyss all the time.  That knowledge is the source of the rain, the lightening and the fire that burns in the heart.  That knowledge is mystery itself. 

Thus the artist, turned traveler wandered across the globe and saw how human awareness manifested in the east and west.  From north to south, every word was a reflection of that infinite mystery, the desperate cry from every corner of history asking the question, why?  In those times, these ancients and elders created the best house of words and ideas to withstand the storm of existential wonder that constantly broke on the shores of our being.  We dare to constantly repeat when they beg us to create a new in our own times. 

Returning to the vast empty desert of the southwest, the path grounded in one of the best systems of knowledge, the way of the warrior.  This way of the warrior is reflected round the world in every culture in the ancient path of the samurai and the ninja, the Tao of the best sages and the methods of the shaman from thousands of years going back.  This path of the warrior placed the ultimate battle square in the center of the source of conflict – the human mind/heart and its struggle to be aware.  Every battle is nothing in comparison to the ultimate battle of being an authentic human being. 

It is for this reason that the works of all the philosophers and sages can be found in the incredible and outlandish stories Carlos Casteneda.  But he is not a guru to be followed!  It was not to repeat or even have the same experience that drove the mind to understand, it was the application of the warrior’s way to all aspects of a life, well lived, looking squarely at death, because today is a good day to die.  And the sweetness of such a life well lived is more than that which can be summed up by any author or path.  Suddenly, all authors, all truths made sense when one way was walked with discipline and commitment. 

Ultimately, a Toltec artist, traveler, warrior, seer is a magician of their own lives.  Riding life like a bull in a china shop the artist must deal with breaking glass and all the beautiful colors simultaneously.  At some point as all the paths become reflections of each other like the various sides of a luminescent crystal, it is just the energy and the refraction of light that makes all those pretty colors light up the desert of the real.  There in, with deepening understanding and unlimited compassion the warrior shares everything as a constant co-creation in intent.  The magic, the mystery… the multi-paths are reflections of that drive from and to the source! The drive is to be a fully authentic self while knowing it is all vain glorious and temporary like St Elmo’s fire. 

This is what the Toltec path is truly about from this small shard of experience and corner of the infinite mystery of life.  This is the warrior’s way.  One can learn to dream, to hunt personal power, to see beyond the world and directly into the world, one can understand the logic and words of those who would fight to the last drop for their limitations.  One can, with practice, know the infinite silence from which all arose.  One can come to love so completely that there are no words to wrap around the energy of it.  One can buzz with excitement and cry over the pain of every day’s vision unfolding.  One comes to love the earth so completely, it shocks the mind with wonder and the terrible beauty of it all. 

This is the Toltec path.  This is not a path for those have or want the right answer.  It is for those that want to participate in an open ended conversation with a universe of infinite possibilities.  It is a path of the creator and the sustainer of all that is truly sacred.  It is not a religion, it is not a moral code; it is not a law or a principle to follow.  It is a wandering and never being lost… walking the way, one step at a time.  It is alignment with beauty itself and wonder and mystery in every breath until the last moment… and even then it is more than we can conceive of or dare to hope.

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