I stepped out into not just a new day as the old one had promised but a night full of stars and a mountain aglow with lines of energy never seen before by my eyes. The old one asked in the prayers for the mother to open to us who celebrated this sacred lodge ceremony. Calling the spirits to the ceremony, lights had flashed, thunder had crashed outside and the rains had come and gone just as the old one had predicted. The songs sung that night were unique and new, and while I understood nothing of this language, I understood it’s love and intent. They were songs of creation, songs of the beating heart of the mother openning to all who could hear. The ones outside were in tears as the old one sang for they knew these were rare songs sung last at the passing of the old one’s mate. And yet that spirit was with us throughout that night. Two old ones had called to us from across the plains… deep in the desert… we heard them and came wandering to this sacred mountain. Little did we know as we stepped out into the brilliance of the stars that we had met the ones who were waiting. Little did we know that our benefactors had revealed themselves so completely and freely. The night was light up with the glow of awareness that the moon brings in her relationship with the earth. The mountain spoke to us and we wandered off to the prayer hill to be with her, to be held in her pregnant hands, pregnant with spirit always birthing. The plants glowed with awareness and being as if a symphony of light and sound was bursting forth from them in that moment. This is what we are aware of all the time. This is what we ignore all the time. We think we know… And yet we do know. We see all this beauty all the time. We need only remove the dust from our eyes, honor the past, look forward to the future, hold each other in highest regard, and practice freedom and awareness everyday.
This experience, little did I know, was the completion of a long journey to make a commitment to being an artist. But not just any artist, a toltec artist. An idea which springs from the yucatan in Mexico but whose scope includes all of history and every culture. Toltecs were ancient builders. Toltecs are warriors of awareness. Toltecs are artists of intention. Toltecs are beings who constantly push the boundaries of awareness to know the knowing and experience the experience of being. And from that root they are propelled to share. The gift of awareness being so awesome and the gratitude which flows from it, manifests itself at all times as give-away. Toltecs live in the flow of constant give-away because nothing can be held close, nothing can be hidden… nothing that survives is hidden or protected… it is infintely accessable by all and everyone… so we always give it away.
Thus is my art an expression of that path, that walk into the world with awareness and freedom. And it manifests itself as the drawings and paintings which I am forced by the very act of being to create at all times. When I stepped out of that lodge, I did not know that within a short period of time my life would completely change to the point that it is always art, always in the flow of creation…. always in the pulse of the earth… fed by the wanderings of dreaming and the skills of stalking the moment unfolding. The old ones were artists too, and shaman, and givers to the great flow of life. They struggled as any human does and grew old and wise with experience such that they could read people from a far and call spirit to heal and help others. They served the tribe, of humans, not just one tribe of mankind. They were global linked before the world was connected by the internet. They saw across time and space into the depths of knowledge and freed every person they met to become their unique medicine (talent) they they had to offer the world. They knew that all gifts of life had a reason and purpose for being here and they could not stop that flow of creation. And taught us to be artists in the flow of that awareness.
This is connecting to the source. This is what all artists feel when they are honestly doing their work. They do not feel the money or the sale of a work, they feel the energy of the moment unfolding in the medium that is right before them. They let the work stand for itself, speak to those that it will touch. Once the art (ceremony) is over they free it to wander across the world as it must be seen and touch who it will touch to awaken whatever was moving through that time and place for the world to be. The toltec artist frees every thing, for anything held back or protected or possessed will ultimately lead to binding intent. And the toltec wants nothing of binding intent…. rather to be in the flow of Intent is a constant practice. From here they listen to the beat and pulse of the waves which crash on the shores of being all the time…. where there is silence they gravitate and collect because in those places nothing stops the flow.
This is the intent to which I honor my elders, my work and my life. And from this grows all the work that I can and will do in life.